Published July 15, 2008
The Force of Two- Chapter 1
"We have your mother, unless you come alone with $300,000 to the big clock at Merritime Square, you will never see her again. You have two days to comply."
The answering machine thudded to the floor as Steven stared blankly out into space. How could this have happened?
"Hello, Ross Equipment rental. Jake Ross speaking. How may I help you?"
"Dad, it's me. someone has kidnapped mom."
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140,780 Literary Works • 673,688 Reviews
I can't say much about this piece as it's very short. If you write more let me know and I'd love to critique.
Hmm...the very first thing I have to say is...
Well here at YWS we have a rule for new members. We appreciate people to do at least two reviews before posting their own work, as a simple curtsy. Not that everyone does that, but really the more you review the more of a chance you will also get reviws.
What you written here looked incomplete. Did you make a mistake maybe???
"Dad, it's me. someone has kidnapped mom."
Maybe change to:
"Dad, it's me. Someone has kidnapped mom."
I know big change right? ahahhaa
p.s.- My dad loves Dr. Who, I'm slowly getting into the new series. I just saw the new episode last friday I actually enjoyed it...